I will present the results of a qualitative study on male conjugal violence which was conducted in Nicaragua by the Foundation Puntos de Encuentro (Common Grounds). First, I will make a brief reference to the national and institutional context from which we carried out this research project and the objectives that we pursued with it. Then, I will explain the methodological aspects, including the criteria to select the study participants. In the third part of my presentation I will describe the study results, which is followed by the limitations of this study. Finally, I will share the experience of using some of these results in the design and implementation of a multimedia and educational campaign aimed at men, with the goal of preventing domestic violence.

Violence has been a tragic and almost permanent component of Nicaraguan's history and, most particularly, has been a constitutive part of masculinity for men in Nicaragua with a serious impact on intimate relationships. According to an official population-based research ( ENDESA, 1998) , 29% of Nicaraguan women have experienced physical violence from their male partners at least once in their lives and 12% have been assaulted during the year previous the survey. Violence in couple relationships is a problem of power and control. It is maintained by the social structures of oppression in which we live-based, among others, on gender, class, age, and race inequalities. In addition, the high levels of poverty in Nicaragua and a national history of wars, which promote a culture of settling conflict through force, might contribute to the epidemic of domestic violence.

This study was part of an institutional strategy of Puntos de Encuentro based on a research/campaign program which aims at gaining informational and conceptual inputs for producing public education campaigns against violence within the family. The results of this study provided critical inputs to design a campaign directed at men which was implemented last year. The campaign was the first public opinion work on preventing domestic violence that particularly targeted Nicaraguan men.

The specific objectives of this study were the following:

1. To identify male expectations and fears in couple relationships with women and their links with conjugal violence.

2. To identify personal and social factors that influence men to a non-violent practice in their couple relationships.

Consequently, we studied men who live with women in couple relationships and who represent one of the following two groups (or types):

a) Men who systematically exert some form of control or violence against their partners (whether is physical, emotional o sexual violence). (Based on national studies on prevalence of domestic violence (Morrison, et.al, 1998; Ellsberg, et.al, 1996) we can affirm that these men represent the majority of the adult male population in Nicaragua).

b) Men who do not practice in a systematic way the above type of relationship, and who would be called in this study the "non-violent" men.

The purpose of studying the "non violent" men was to learn from them (from their experiences, reflections, turning points) in order to reach persuasively the other men, that is, those men who batter or mistreat their female partners. The rationale behind this is that, rather than looking for 'causes' of men's violence (to then offer a 'medicine' with the campaign), a better understanding of those men who, in spite of growing up in a violent socio-cultural context, do not become violent themselves could prove to be more useful. Therefore, we hope that lessons learned from these nonviolent men can be 'transferred' to other men in efforts to motivate them to not use violence.

As with the men who systematically exert some form of control or violence against their partners, our purpose was to understand their expectations and fears in couple relationships, as well as their perceptions about conjugal violence. Knowing in depth their ideas about couple relationships is critical to our educational work. Furthermore, our campaigns against violence must take into account these men's worries, fears and needs in order to have an impact.

This study deepens much more in the analysis of the "non violent" men than in the men who mistreat their partners. With the former we conducted more interviews and gathered more information about their life stories, personal characteristics and ways of behave in intimate relationships. Besides our rationale of learning from the "non violent" men, we prioritize the study of them because information on the other men (the violent ones) is readily available from both national studies and from international literature. In contrast, there is little known about these still 'exceptional cases' of non-violent men.

Provided the difficulty to find the type participants needed for this study, we selected a convenience sample for the two groups of men studied. Our criteria to consider a man "non violent" were particularly demanding, as can be seen in the following description:

1. The man is free from violent behavior (physically and sexually) or, at least, he had not been violent against his partner within the last three years. This means that a man could have always been non-violent or was violent at one point in his life but changed.
2. The man is neither authoritarian nor controlling in his relationship. He does not impose decisions on partners or struggle to have the "last word" (authoritarianism). Control factors included demanding that their partner explain expenses, explain who she sees and why, limiting access to other people, extreme jealousy, criticism, and deciding what their partner wears.
3. The man does not resort in a frequent basis on behaviors that could be considered emotional violence. Some examples of emotional violence are yelling, constant criticism, blaming and blackmailing.
4. The man must not be drug or alcohol dependent.

An additional criterion to include a man in our non-violent sample was that he was not an activist or involved in the men's movement. This was an important criterion because we want to find men who have not been politicized by pro-feminist organizations, workshops or feminist/gender discourse.

We found these men primarily by asking people in the community for recommendations of individuals who they think are non-violent. Women's organizations were also asked for suggestions.

Two techniques were used to obtain the information for this study: a) in-depth interviews divided each one in two sessions; b) document analysis of workshop notes and reports that have been written about men and masculinity in Nicaragua.

We interviewed 15 men as representatives of the non-violent sample. However, the final sample of the non-violent men was 11, since 4 men were excluded from this group when we realized that their ideas and behaviors did not fulfill our non-violent criteria. We decided that based on the results of the first interview sessions.

Twenty-two workshops notes and reports were reviewed, which allowed us to analyze the opinions and reactions of hundreds of Nicaraguan men who have participated in these educational activities. Since most of these men represent the average adult male in Nicaragua, these documents gave us access to information about men who systematically exert some form of control or violence against their partners. However, we did not get specific information about highly violent men. Very violent men are not the norm and, in any case, we considered that they go beyond the scope of our research/campaign strategy.

To complement our analysis of the men who exert some form of control or violence, we also conducted in-depth interviews with 5 of them.

The data analysis strategy used in this study was informed by the qualitative model of "Grounded Theory", which represents an inductive approach of data analysis, in which conceptualizations should come primarily from the data, rather than previous research or theory.

Some male patriarchal expectations in couple relationships

We identified six emerging themes about what men want and expect from their female partners:

1. To be served by the woman (female servitude)
2. To be "understood" by the woman (female resignation)
3. To lead the relationship (female passivity)
4. That the woman be dependent on him (female dependence)
5. That the woman be faithful (control of female sexuality)
6. That the woman gives birth to his children (confirmation of virility)

These expectations were built upon legitimate human needs that evolved into a machista logic (e.g., to be 'attended' as a proof of love).

One serious problem with these expectations is its lack of reciprocity. Women also want from others attention, understanding, loyalty, etc., not only men.

It's important to note the particularly machista meanings of otherwise positive values and concepts. These men talk about "understanding", "respect" and "authority", but in a very patriarchal and egocentric sense.

• Fear of being dominated
• Fear of having an independent partner
• Fear that the partner has sexual relationships with another man
• Fear of "performing" poorly in sexual relationships

Being "non-violent" is not a passive stance. Quite the contrary, it implies new actions. From our study we identified the following:

1. To act taking into account the partner and children's benefit.
2. To participate in household chores.
3. To share decision making process.
4. To handled and share finance issues responsibly
5. To avoid controlling behaviors.
6. To resolve couple conflicts without resorting to violence.
7. To educate other men.

We searched for both personal and social factors that promote non-violent practices in men:

1. Reasoning (ways of thinking).
2. Others who stimulate and support ( partners, relatives, neighbors, organizations) .
3. Self-image as a non-violent man.
4. Personal characteristic: home-loving.
5. Personal characteristic: open to self-examination.
6. Personal characteristic: ethical standpoint.
7. Childhood experiences:
8. non-violent models or rejection to violent models;
9. connection with mother;
10. parent's moral "consejos".

Benefits of non-violent practice (as perceived by men)

We classified five different but interrelated benefits that men seem to perceive as a result of their non-violent practice:

1. Well-being of their children.

2. Tranquillity, harmony, peace.

3. A practical benefit: the household "works" better.

4. Good reputation.

5. "Feeling good" with oneself.

Difficulties, doubts and contradictions

The non-violent practice generates in men contradictory experiences. On the one side it is a rewarding experience (see above the benefits), but on the other side these men have to bear with the pressures of a still machista social context:

• Scoffing: "Your wife keeps you tied down."
• Ostracism: "Get away from us, you aren't a real man."
• Internal struggles between the impulse to dominate vs. the duty to respect.

Conclusions

Our evaluation of the non-violent men

a) They still are patriarchal males

• Hold traditional expectations toward their female partners (the mother-wife; the caretaker).
• Consider themselves as "givers" of rights and liberties to women.
• Feel the need to lead the relationship.

b) YET, they are different from violent men

• Expectations toward female partners are less rigid.
• Willingness to accept their partners' influence.
• Less prone to self-induce conflicts in the relationship.
• Have a sense of a shared and common family project.
• Capacity to anticipate negative consequences of the violent behavior.
• Have positive regards and appreciation to their female partners.
• Capacity of empathy: taking into account their partner's well-being, perspectives and feelings.

Limitations of the study

- Although these results help us to understand similarities and differences between violent and nonviolent men we cannot make a systematic comparison between these two groups because we explored different themes for each group of men and deepened more with the nonviolent group.

- The female partners of these men were not interviewed, which might have affected the research in two ways: a) higher risk of erring in the generation of the non violent sample. b) lack of complementary information to analyze couple dynamics and interactions.

- Too many interviewers. There were 5 interviewers for a total of 20 interviews, 16 of them used in data analysis.

Final reflections

• All men re-create and participate in a male patriarchal culture.
• Non-violent men represent a fissure to the most dominant expressions of patriarchal masculinity.
• However, non-violent practice is not incompatible with male domination.
• Challenge: How to counteract male violence without reinforcing domination?
• Warning: Avoid promoting the "good patriarch."
• Call: Let's encourage the non-violent practice as a component of a new way of 'being a man' that is based on equality.

The violence prevention campaign for men

This research were our first analytical step to design a multimedia, educational campaign aimed at men to prevent conjugal violence. The campaign was implemented last year in close alliance with the Men's Group Against Violence of Managua and 200 other organizations and women's groups around the country. The basic concept of the campaign was "Violence against women is a disaster that men can prevent." Bumper stickers, posters, pamphlets and ads aired on prime time TV and radio were the central pieces of this campaign along with community mobilization activities such as educational workshops for men and campaign public presentations.

The research helped us in many ways to the design of this campaign. First, it advanced in our understanding of male violence in couple relationships, since its results showed that many men expect women to wait on them and to be passive and dependent; and also they feel threatened by the possibility of being dominated by women and their unfaithfulness. The research also helped us to identify some alternatives of this male practice, such as handling conflicts without resorting to violence and resisting other men's pressures to act in a machista fashion. Likewise, this study gave us clues to identify strategies to reach out men in persuasive ways without losing sight of the potential risks of reinforcing patriarchal attitudes in men.

In more concrete ways, the study results described above were useful for the following components of the campaign:

• In the setting of appropriate campaign objectives. The study demonstrates through different case studies that Nicaraguan men are capable of living in nonviolent and respectful ways within their families, despite the machista social context in which they live. These positive evidences served as a basis to set one of our two communication objectives for the campaign:

"To promote the idea that men have the capacity and the responsibility of avoiding violence against their partners."

• In the development of the campaign materials. Two posters were developed for massive distribution. One of them shows alternative behaviors that men can take when they feel "on the verge of mistreating their families", which partially resemble the conflict resolution strategies said by men in the interviews. The other poster proposes egalitarian family roles for men within the family, which includes some non-violent practices identified in the study. In addition, the campaign pamphlet briefly explains to its male readers, among other topics, the ways in which the male patriarchal expectations in couple relationships made men prisoners of machismo as well as the benefits of behaving non-violently, as was revealed by the study participants in their interviews. Finally, the study results also provided inputs for the design of the campaign workshops aimed at men.
• In the identification of the campaign "messengers." As part of the material development, we positioned men in protagonistic roles, making this a "man-to-man" campaign. In all the campaign materials and activities men were the ones who make the call for action to other men. For instance, the TV and radio ads portrays nonviolent men sharing with others their strategies to prevent violence. This "man-to-man" approach was supported by the strong evidence coming from the study results about men's influence on other men ( both positively as in the case of nonviolent men educating others, and negatively as the practice of male ostracism and scoffing) . This is also the reason why the Men's Group Against Violence became the main allies to Puntos de Encuentro to implement this campaign.
• In the design of the questionnaire for the precampaign survey. The male patriarchal expectations and fears in couple relationships described in the study was one of the references for developing survey questions.

Besides the pre-campaign survey, conducted with 2000 men, there was a post-campaign survey with other 2000 men and with 660 women, with the purpose of assessing the campaign impact. Some of the results were as follows:

• 60% of men knew about the campaign;
• Men exposed to the campaign were of the opinion that "men are capable of preventing violence" with a 15% more frequency than those not exposed to it;
• Men exposed to the campaign were of the opinion that "violence affects community development in a negative manner" with a 15% more frequency than those not exposed to it;
• When the results were compared between men with different controlling attitudes toward their female partners (highly controlling, average and low), it was found that even in highly controlling men the campaign had a positive impact;
• One third of the surveyed men talked to their female partners about the campaign messages and almost two thirds talked to other men.

Fundación Puntos de Encuentro
Rotonda El Gueguense, 4 c abajo, 1c al lago
Apartado Postal RP-39. Managua, NICARAGUA

Tel ( 505) 268-1227. Fax ( 505) 266-6305

E-mail: puntos@puntos.org.ni

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